Archive for February, 2008

情人节的感触~~~

二月十四,这个日子已被大部分的人公认为情人节。一路走过每条大街小巷,都会看到好多情侣手托着手,幸福洋溢。也不难看到,到处都是鲜花,巧克力,小礼物,可爱的饰品,等等。。。今年,我的情人节来迟了好几天。因为我的他,并不能在我身边,所以我们打算将这一年的情人节延后至星期六。

说真的,等待真的很要命!!!我等了好久好久,为什么我的星期六还没来???好像时间已经遗忘了我这可怜人在期待这一天的到来。我很努力的做好每件应该做的事,然后就能轻轻松松的度过甜蜜的日子。等着等着。。。(蜘蛛网都搀着我的头发咯!)

每当他在我身边,我都觉得很安全,很安心,也很开心。因为我不需要在他面前变成另一个人,而是真正的自己!我最喜欢跟他撒娇了,因为每次我撒娇的时候,他都会给我一个很幸福的笑容。这个笑容让我的心觉得很温暖。

拍拖也有一年了,这一次,我终於收到他送给我的第一份礼物。我真的很感动,也很激动!毕竟这是他第一次,那么认真的制造惊喜。礼物虽然不是很贵重,但是,他那份心,想要让我开心的心,真的让我很感动。当天,我真的又在哭了,是感动到哭了。

我们能在一起的时间并不长,也不能时常见面,所以每次我们都很珍惜在一起的时间。这一次的情人节并不能像其他情侣一样,过着二人世界,全天候粘在一起,逛逛街,享用独光晚餐,但是,我真的很满足了,也很感恩。

老实说一句,情人节不一定需要在情人节当天才庆祝,其实,只要很好的利用自己的想象力及创意,聪明的制造气氛,然而每天都是甜甜的情人节。你说呢?

学会看开了 ^^

最近,因为男朋友的缘故,我开始做晚课了,也开始学习静坐。每晚临睡前,我开始我每一天的反省及忏悔。然而,我发现,这些虽然被大多数人看轻或被忽略的忏悔和每日反省,、对我来说,真的给了我很大的帮助。它们帮了我好多好多。。。
平时想不开的事或物,介由每日反省,突然看到了曙光。
回想到以前的幼稚和愚蠢,真的很不懂事。
每每遇到困扰都会怨天尤人,不会怪责自己的心智不够成熟,不会责怪自己的处事方法真的很有问题,还有自己不会尝试去将心比心的对待身边的每一个人。
现在,我决定要改变自己的那些不好的怨念,不好的心眼,并要学习如何去忍辱,放开心房,善待每个身边的人。
我是个很情绪化的人,怨气来得快也去得快,所以每次都会惹毛身边的人都受不了我。
希望往后的日子都能做晚课,念般若波罗密心经,念佛号,回向,能够把我的心能静下来,并且看清所有的事与物,然后慢慢的改变自己。
之前,在部落格写的文章如果另到你们感到不舒适,我在这里向大家道歉。
我会努力的改变自己。
朋友们,对不起。。。

somebody tell me what to do~~~~ please…

why he wanna come to my room again?
why he wanna stay in my room, by the way his house just really near with my house???
he got transport, why he still wanna stay in a house full with girls???
did he know what he do now already make me almost becoming crazy???
why he always come?
i really cried when i saw his car just outside my house (tanjung malim) when i came back from melaka last time…
all negative feelings came to me in a nick of time…
i really wanna shout every time he came…
just now i was taking my nap in my room again…
u know…
when i just open my eyes…
oh my god…
is he again…
i really wanna shout!!!
coz i was in a shocked…
:’(
may be i’m bad roommate, cannot tolerate…
but then…
i’m a girl still who haven’t marry, what will my future husband will think of if he knew this?
how bout my family?
they saw this incident (they sleep together in a mattress) many times already when my parents send me back from melaka…
my mama really wanna mad her, but i stop my mama…
now i regret already…
coz i really don’t know how to say "NO"…
last sem i thought i’ll just see him just a semester then "bye bye~~~ ^^"
i know he will go for a practical, will be busy at that school, so i let him always be in my room to accompany his gf…
but then…
after a sem he just get the nearest school from tanjung malim…
what i can do?
the thought and reality are not the same as what u wish for…
i think i was being to nice with them then i hurt myself, i also don’t know…
now i had learn a lesson…
don’t be too kind with somebody that u not really familiar with, if not…
the one get hurt will be u…
hmmm…
i think i am a bad roommate…
and a stupid roommate also…
:’(
i got no where else to voice out my feelings…
this is the only way i can voice out all of my unhappy feelings…
today that guy came to celebrate valentines with her with a bouquet of red roses on her table now…
haih…
is it too show off?
or am i jealous?
haha…
no matter how…
hope he won’t overnight at my house today…
if not, i’ll be getting crazy…
hmm…
happy valentines’ day to all of my friends…
:)

my ex again…

i really don’t know what happened already recently…
all his girl friends came to view my profile…
i’m scared and angry…
really terrified when i saw his photos in that girl’s profile…
i hate him still?
or i scared with him still?
i don’t know…
but i hope i won’t behave like this when facing the same condition next time…
hmmm…
God, please save me from this guy who may be will hurt my friends and family again, no matter physically and mentally..